So its friday today and its a boring friday. I slept till 12:00pm (which was pretty early to wake up..im lazy) And I just sat on my bed and just stared at the floor. Then my mom comes in and is like 'How come you seem sad and your all quiet today?' I just looked at her and laid down and covered myself with my blanket. I closed my eyes and whished I could go into my dreams. I did fall asleep for a few minutes but I had to wake up cuz my moms friend signed onto my s/n and I was worried that she was talking to sumone and he would tell her everthing so yeah.

My mom right now is working. They called her last nite and told her that she has to go back to work. Her vacation is over =[ Now its going to be like before where we hardly saw her. Now foreals summer is going to suck dick. No more going out. Im thinking of isolating myself I think thats good. I feel like sleeping all the time. I just get up to do my chores (wow miracle) and right now that I got up to get online for a while. Then im going to go and lay down and sleep while the comp is still on DL sum songs.

I joined this one LP message board and this one guy made me a signature and omg its so beautiful! it has a fairy in it and it says my user name Forgotten Fairy and it has Numb on it. Its blue. ITS SO BEAUTIFUL! I got happy cuz yeah I liked it =]

Well yesterday Jonathan told me that we werent going to go out on Monday and that we wont talk that much no more. When he told me that I got really sad, I started to cry but I didnt do any noise I just stared at the wall. He did ask me what was wrong but I told him I was ok cuz I dont want him asking me why im like that. I even asked him if he didnt want to be sad no more (meaning if he wanted to break up) Im so fucking stupid! How can I say that. by doing that ill just kill myself faster cuz yeah..I dont know im on crack im not myself right now.

I only want to lay down on my bed and just close my eyes while listening to sum really special songs. Those songs make me go to sleep and make the day go by faster. MY SUMMER HAS BEGUN VERY FUCKED UP

One of these days imma have to go sumwhere. By myself like to downtown L.A and just walk around. Then come back and sleep.