I love him. He loves me. Then why am I not happy?

Today I have woken up with a small cold feeling inside. I think to myself 'How can I feel like this when I have sumone very special..I sound like if I dont have no one and im the most miserablest person in the whole world' Well LIFE is not perfect for me, at least not yet.

It will only be perfect when im with him. It will only be perfect when he holds me and doesnt let go. It will only be perfect when im kissing him. It will only be perfect when im happy with him. Its just sumthing thats missing and ill probablly find it later on..

I have noticed that in the morning and during the day (before 2:00pm) I can eat. But then afterwards Im not hungry. I talked with a friend of mine from texas and I told him how I was feeling and why. He told me that what I thought was not true that im just thinking that because of me being unconfident in myself. I told him that I knew that and hes like well you need to stop or else people will begin to see you as you see yourself and thats when your screwed because then everyone WILL say the things you say to yourself right now. That kinda opened my eyes a little bit.

This morning I looked at myself (seriously) and I just said to myself that ill try not to say anything bad to myself. My goal is that. I will accomplish it.

I miss Jonathan so much. I want to see him today, but I dont think ill see him today =( That sucks! I hope to see him tomorrow. I want to see him so much! I miss him more and more everyday that goes by.

Je t'aime Jonathan! J'adore tu...