Dear Diary,

Hey how are you? Im not feeling good in both emotional and Physical. My physical I have a fever and I cant talk my nose is stuffy and well all the good shit of Cold. My emotional is well that IM TO SMALL..it sucks cuz well Today we went to the spectrum *Cool Place to be with a date or with money* and well ive been telling my mom about her getting me a cell phone for like 2 years and today at that place we went into cingular wireless cuz george and my mom were gonna get me one and well then they like talked to the lady and I dont know what the hell and then we went to the coffee bean and we talked and I told them that I wanted a cell phone. Well both of them said that I was too young. LOSERS DONT WANT TO GET ME ONE CUZ THERE CODOS!!! My mom is all like Sarahi your too small until you have a job you can get a cell phone....im like but you said that I could get a cell phone when I was like this age and now your saying until I work WHAT THE FUCK!!! you change everything...same with dating she said when I was 15 and now that im 16 shes telling me until im 18 i guess when im 18 shell say until your 20 I HATE MY LIFE!!!! IM TO FREAKING SMALL FOR EVERYTHING...cept for doing chores, school, NOOOOO im not small in the things that benefits her but in the shit that dont benefit her im too small. Im guessing that maybe shell cost me my boyfriend too. I bet hes bored of me I bet he already likes another girl IM SUCH A FUCKING LOSER!!! IM 16 YEARS OLD AND IM TREATED LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD!!!! I DONT WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS NO MORE!!! I CANT TAKE IT NO MORE i wanna runaway....ive talked so much about running away but I havent had the guts to do it but hopefully tomorrow after school I get the guts and just not come home at all Dissappear from all of them and never come back Start a new life. Im really sick I cant talk that much and my fingers hurt cuz there like frozen BUT I DONT GIVE A SHIT!!! MY LIFE SUCKS FUCKING BALLS!!! Why am I like this?? Why cant I be like other girls...there moms let them have boyfriends, lets them go out with their friends, let them have cell phones Let them have control over their own life but no not me Im a fucking dog on a leash...You know tonight Im gonna tell my mom about me and Jonathan YEP Im gonna tell her cuz maybe just maybe if I tell her shell probably let me see him more or sumthing I dont know but at the same time Im worried that she might turn out bad and be like you cant see him no more Im scared. But what scares me more is me Loosing Jonathan I dont want to loose him I love him a whole lot hes my everything id probably die without him IM SAYING THE TRUTH! Jonathan has given me beautiful feelings and stuff I LOVE YOU BABY...but well heres one thing I have to understand if he gets bored with me then even though it will be hard for me Ill have to stick with it so that he can be happy. I have to go but ill write back later ok?? Bye

STUPID FUCKING GIRL

Sarahi