Hello, long time no write in here. I can't seem to be okay with whatever it is I am in. I'm currently engaged and my fiance is having some issues with his living arrangements along with his family. I'm annoyed that he focuses more time on that than with me. Call me selfish or whatever, but I think he needs to spend time with me. Why is it that I drop everything for him, but he doesn't do the same? I feel like he's always making me mad because he never does what I want. He never thinks what I want him to and he's just so stupid at times.

It's like, FUCKING CATER TO ME. FUCKING CATER TO ME. I don't care if your family needs you there, I NEED YOU. Whenever you need me I always go to you.

I want to pull my hair and I want to punch a wall and break a window and pound my fist on the ground. Go psycho and crazy and raw.

I have to breathe and calm down. Think, is this really the correct way to fix this situation? Acting like an enraged idiot? I've found that writing helps myself cool down because I can write down my frustrations and slowly cool down.

I don't want to lose him due to my attitude because of my attitude. I really don't want to lose him over a stupid thing.