[ mood | angry ]
[ music | Don't Speak - No Doubt ]

I have think that this journal will be my bithcing/writing journal. Lol. I mean I can't really write anything that personal in Sarahilicious because I have sum school friends there. And yeah.

I don't know why but today I feel like shit...I feel the need to starve myself and just die on the floor staring up at a pair of blueis greenish eyes. I suck at writing I got a review and yeah that is one piece of why I feel like shit. Lol I know im stupid for getting all sad and stuff but well only a lil cuz yeah but hopefully I get better. I will thank him/her though because they want me to get better.

I hate to admit it but another reason why is because Jonathan said he was going to call me and he didn't. That is why I got tired of being his g/f! NO MORE COMMUNICATION!! We hardly talked and I got sad and tired of waiting for his fucking phone call! I know I talk with him in IM but well I want to hear his voice too you know? and I get tired of typing long crap that I want to tell him. It is sooo much easier telling him in person. Heck the other day I wanted to tell him 'I love you' because I wanted to but then the urge died and I didn't tell him. I feel like if im permanantly dying now and I won't go back to loving him as more than a friend.

Another reason why I feel like that is because on tuesday I got out early and my mom picked me up. Here is our convo on our way home.

Me: Mom the first 100 people to buy a yearbook only pay 70$ then the rest have to pay a much more high price..

Mom: -silence- Why do you want that yearbook anyways? you have your 10th grade one and I don't see you using it...

Me: -silenced- Well it's my senior year and I want it...

Mom: Sarahi! I don't have money to buy that...tell your dad....

Me: But my dad doesn't even call us....I haven't talked to him in a long itme.. -tears start forming-

Mom: Well then I don't know but tell him to give you the money...I don't have money to buy that..

Me: >.<

Mom: Do you even come out in that book??

Me: OO Yes! I come out in the yearbook that is why I want to buy it!

Mom: -sighs- Well we will see if you can buy it..but still tell your dad.

I hate when this happens! I hate my parents being split! I hate it! Its so stupid and gay! Why can't I just have a normal fucking family?? Why does she always say 'TELL YOUR DAD TO BUY IT FOR YOU??'
DAD ISNT HERE MOM!! YOU ARE!!!...

And she said that she was going to buy me/waste whatever money on senior year for me. hmpfh! Some great senior year if she is going to be like that the whole freaking year!

I hate this...