I wish I was like those girls that guys call whores and bitches. Not because I want to have sex, but because I can be with not just one guy but two or more. See I have a big dilemma at the moment. It's so big that it hurts to even think about it!

Problem: I'm in love with a guy and I like another one.

It might not seem like a big deal to a lot of people but to me it is. It's like, oh my gosh how can I do that to the guy I love, you know? And that's why I am doing my hardest to forget about the other guy. It doesn't help when I see him and just wish he would hold me and kiss me hard. I want him to hug me tight and breath on my neck and ear and then kiss me. I want him to make me hot but not do anything to me. I just want him to kiss me and hold me. It's like, oh my gosh. Just thinking about kissing him makes me go into a woozy state. I've even written a story where I actually (in some miraculous way) stay in his house by accident and he comes to check up on me and he hears me say his name and he kisses me 'cause i'm so tempting! UGH! Oh my gosh. we'll call this guy Allen. Allen, do you like me? I want you to like me so much! I really do. I want you to notice me and want me.

Then I think about it and that wouldn't be a good idea because I love Sora so much. With Sora I want to build my life and start a family, yet a part of me wonders if I give Allen a chance, will he become like Sora?

I want to be the girls that Allen likes and I want him to have a crush on me and feel what I feel. Then again why not just leave it to the imagination? I'm already doing so so why not continue? Just make my life with Sora and continue to dream with Allen? Ugh. It really sucks. This bites so much it's not even funny!

I shouldn't be whining but OH MY GOSH! LIFE IS NOT FAIR AND OH MAN WHY???

It's a need that needs to be satisfied but I don't want to do it because I have someone else I need to think about. It's not fair. I don't want to be labeled a whore but at the same time I wish I didn't care about titles. Sadly though I care so much about how I am pictured by both Sora and Allen. They matter to me so much that it drives me crazy to not be able to do anything.

Threesome? Psh, yeah right. It would be sooo nice though. Yum. Yum. Yum.