Im sleepy. My throat hurts. My head hurts. I want to go out. I cant go out because my mom is going to Orange with George. Theyre going to church cuz today is "Jueves Santo" Im staying here cuz my sisters dont want to go and I kinda dont. I kinda want to though cuz well its church. We all have to go to church at least once a week to give thanks for everything that we have so yeah.

Its 3:15pm *sighs* Only 3 more days till school starts again then it will be horrible cuz yeah SCHOOL. I need to get my lazy ass up from the computer chair and do something lol. Well I will anyways cuz I have to do my chores and cuz I want to watch some tv but like I wont get offline cuz im going to be downloading something.

I like this song from Usher:

"i dont understand.. why...see it's burnin me to hold on to this i know this is somethin i gotta do

that don't mean i want to what im tryna say is that i.. love you i just.. i feel like this is comin to an end and it's better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you..i gotta let it burn

it's gonna burn for me to say this it's comin from my heart it's been a long time comin

but we done been fell apart you really wanna work this out but i dont think your gonna change i do but u dont think its best that we go our seperate ways tell me why i should stay in this relationship when im hurtin baby..i aint happy baby plus there's so many other things i gotta do

i think that you should.. let it burn

when the feelin aint the same and your body don't want to but you know you gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to even though this might bruise you let it burn let it burn let it burn (gotta let it burn)deep down you know its best we stop but you hate the thought of her being

with someone else but you know that its over you know that its true let it burn let it burn let it burn (gotta let it burn)

Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to got somebody here but i want you cuz the feelin aint the same find myself callin her..your name maybe it's time you understand now all my fellas do u feel my pain

it's the way i feel i knew i made a mistake now it's too late i know she aint comin back what i gotta do now to get my shorty back (ooo oo oo)man i dont know what im gonna do without my boo (ooo)

she been gone for too long its been 50 11 days um-teen hours ima be burnin till you return

im twisted cuz one side of me is telling me that i need to move on on the other side i wanna break down and cry oooo im twisted cuz one side of me is telling me that i need to move on on the other side i wanna break down and cry

oooo ooo ooo oo oo oo oooo ooo ooo oo(can ya feel it burnin)oooo ooo ooo oo oo oo

too many days so many hours im still burnin till u return" - Burn

I wanna save up some money so that I can buy somehting for someone. Yeah. I also wanna save money so that I can buy myself the stuff I want/need you know? I feel like going to Burger King and ordering a Chicken Sandwich lol Im hungry. I havent eaten nothing today..actually all this week I havent eaten nothing. im never hungry but today im very hungry.

I know this is not part of anything ive been saying and it like never is cuz what I say/talk about mostly never make sense (I think). What hurts the most is to see your father cry when you are leaving him to go live with your mother in sum other state. I remember seeing my dad cry for the first time in Colorado when he and my mom were first getting separated. I was crying cuz my parents were never going to be together again so I cried like crazy. I couldnt find my father and I wanted to see him cuz I wanted to say goodbye cuz I knew I wouldnt see him for a long time. Then my grandma told me to go to the office that he was there. I went there and I found him crying and I cried even more cuz I knew that after this nothing would ever be the same. I ran up to him and hugged him and I told him that I loved him and that I didnt want to go that I wanted him and my mom to get back together. He told me that they were going to work it out. As the car pulled away from our house in Colorado I just kept crying and all my dreams of being a perfect family got crushed.

The second time I saw my dad cry was last year in May when I was coming here to California. I hurt my dad. He told me that he would never forget what I said and he would always love us. Then he yelled at me to get out cuz of what I had done that I was an ungrateful daughter because of what I had said. I ran to the car crying and just stayed there staring at my hands. That happened on May 22, 2003. I left Texas with my mom on May 24, 2003 and I didnt even say goodbye to him. I havent seen my dad since he said that to me. I hardly talk to him now. Were cool though but I guess it just hurts him the fact that he cant have his daughters with him.

But its ok cuz well when im older im going to go visit him and well laugh together and well have fun. Just like when I was small. �