It sucks 'cause I get jealous when my friend is near him... and that him isn't Jonathan. Gah. Gah. Gah.

My head hurts and I wish I knew how to drive and was a bit more independant than how I am right now. If I drove I'd be able to go where I wanted and I'd be able to not depend on that friend or my mum to take me to places. Plus, I'd be able to visit Jonathan and go out with him and yeah. It would be so nice to drive.

Lately, I've just been wanting to get away from everyone that I know and start a new life. I think that would be best, but I really don't know why. I also want to become anorexic and lose weight. I hate my friends and everyone else right now. Maybe it's a small phase I'm going through.

I want to live by myself in my own apartment and just lock everyone out and not be connected to anyone. Just me and my anime and that's it. Why can't everyone just leave me alone? I mean, they don't bother me but at the same time they do.

I'm confused and I want to sleep and be away from everyone.

I'm just sick about it.